“Your goal will be met in two months.” -Almighty Fortune Cookie
Well fortune cookie, goals are a funny thing. Like, you actually have to know what your goals are to see if you have accomplished them. I mean, I have your normal cliche goals as everyone. Like get an actual job. By actual job, I mean one that pays more than I spend in a month and probably has benefits.If I have to wait two more months to get an actual job I might hold up a bank or convenient store.
Stop drinking like a college student would be another awesome goal to accomplish. Most of my finer embarrassing moments occur when I have consumed my fair share, and probably someone else’s share, of alcohol. Plus, my pride and ego decide that backing down from any challenge is considered losing so my liver pays for my ego. Also, when you transition from college to the “real world,” as my father calls it, you are supposed to make this magical transformation into being an adult and having actual responsibilities. What happens when you are still working at a Chinese restaurant because you can get an actual life that requires you to be responsible? One drinks from boredom and to drown out the feelings of utter hoplessness after applying for a billion jobs per day.
I guess the biggest goal would be to find an actual relationship with another human being that actually requires emotions. The thing is, I am completely content in the “arrangement” I have secured for myself. I may be insane, but I am comfortable in chaos and the feeling of impending doom. There is a lot of history behind this one, and I will not go into it, but the fact that I am completely content in not having to have actual emotions, unless the talking begins and my buttons are pushed. I have two buttons, just two and he seems to know exactly how to push them to cause me to lapse into one of those convulsion cry sessions. I hate crying and I hate emotions. You know why I am one of those people that everyone loves to talk to? It is because I actually listen, instead of waiting for a pause where I can speak. I don’t particularly like talking. I offer advice where needed.
You know trying to think of actual goals is hard when I cant even remember what I had for lunch the previous day. My goal is to make it out the door without forgetting anything, on time, with my teeth brushed. Thanks fortune cookie, I might think of an unrealistic goal that I hope comes true in two months like, “I’m going to be a millionaire,” or “I will find Mr. Perfect/ Prince Charming/ No PDA in public man.” Yeah right.
How did you even know when I would read this fortune? What if I got it a month early and get completely devastated in two months only to be surprised the next month? Guess that the magic *coughbullshitcough* behind the Almighty Fortune Cookie.
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